John's Story

My parents tried for years to conceive, with no success, and finally decided to adopt. Apparently, they were told that it would take a very long time, and then, within days, they were surprised to find out that I was available, and they dropped everything to adopt me. (I will never forget asking my Dad more about that story the summer before he died, and I really enjoyed listening to my gruff father tear up as he told me that story.) Then, a few years later, once the pressure was off, they got pregnant with my younger brother. My loving, supportive parents provided me with an excellent upbringing and a happy childhood.  

I always knew that I was adopted, and my family always treated it as something special. I always thought that I could have been born to anyone, but for some reason, I was placed with my family. I never, ever had any resentment towards my birth parents. I have always felt very lucky to be alive. My parents did not know much about my birth family, but one of the few things that we knew was that my birth parents were very young. I imagine it would have been very easy for my birth mother to terminate the pregnancy and go on with her life, but thankfully, she chose to have me and make an adoption plan for me. She not only gave the incredible, selfless gift of life, she gave me a better life than she thought she could provide, and, she gave my parents the most wonderful gift anyone could ever give  -- a family. 

My parents always told me that they loved me just the same as my brother, and loved me just as if I had been born to them. I always believed them, but never fully appreciated just how true that was until I had children of my own. To me, adoption is the most beautiful choice in what can be an extremely tough situation. As cliché as it is – adoption is a win-win-win: it allows the mother the opportunity to relinquish the responsibility if she’s not in a place to handle it, it gives the child the gift of life, and it gives two deserving people the chance to have the family of which they have dreamed. Everybody benefits; it is truly amazing. 

I never had much desire to search for my birth parents growing up. I was content and felt lucky to have the family that I did. As I got older, my desire to learn more grew and grew. My adoptive parents have since passed away. I have been searching for my birth parents over the last several years, and last year, I finally found them. 

Of course, like all adoptees, I wanted to know more about my history, and wanted to see people who looked like me. But most of all, I wanted to say THANK YOU to my birth parents for the choice they made for me. They were very young, and I could easily have never been born. I was truly blessed to have the opportunity to meet my birth parents and their children – they stayed together, got married, and now have a wonderful family. We have all been developing a relationship and getting to know each other lately, and it has been one of the most exciting and incredible experiences of my entire life, and I am truly grateful to them. 

-- John, Los Gatos, CA